Beautiful Ashes

It’s been a rough past few months. I’ve been riding a roller-coaster of feelings and have yet to get off the ride.  Recently, though, my heart has finally broken under the weight … again.  Not only for myself, but for those that I see around me.  I observe the pain, hurt, depression, and sadness in the eyes and hearts of others everyday.  It breaks my heart to see such pain in the most beautiful people I know.  The saddest part is, I can do nothing to fix it.  I know everyone deals with a lot of the same things; stress, loss, hurt, pain, addiction, disappointment, depression, insecurity, sadness, and self-loathing.  These hurting hearts hurt hearts.  The pain people inflict on others stems from their own pain. The worst part is, it re-occurs everyday, affecting more and more people.  Enough is enough. What if we loved each other instead of spreading hate? What if we served each other instead of expecting to be served? What if we built each other up instead of tearing each other down?  What if we went out of our way to bring joy to others? How would the world be different?  I know that there would be a lot less judgment and more acceptance.  Less pain and more joy.  Less insecurity and more confidence.  I am only a tear drop into the ocean, but today I am starting my own revolution, with hopes of making even the slightest wave in this sea of despair.  I am revolting against the media, the world, the lies satan burrows into our hearts and uses to break us down.  I am revolting against self hate.  I am revolting against the judgment and gossip that hurts others.  I am starting my own love revolution.  I am no longer going to hate myself or hurt others with my hurting heart.  If I let God heal my own broken heart, I know that He will use me to heal others’ broken hearts.  This is my prayer, that God can use me as a beacon of hope for the lost and hurting.  That people will understand we all face the same troubles and can be set free to live a wonderful, happy, and healthy life.  I know God longs for us to have loving and joyful community with others while supporting, lifting up, and loving each other.  But not only that, He longs for us to love ourselves.  Christ took my pain and bore it on His shoulders on the cross, why do I still carry it with me everyday?  I vow to leave it at the cross and walk away with the freedom of Christ in my heart.  I pray that I can help to give one person the strength to do the same.  Together we can start a revolution of bringing others to love and acceptance. 

My evening devotions tonight were so perfect: 

“I came for you to experience a rich life, a life filled with divine purpose, a life like none other. Lose yourself in Me and you will find the true happiness your heart longs for.  I am waiting to take you places that will delight the depths of your soul.  Let go of your own ways and grab ahold of Mine.  Starting now, let your Prince show the real way to live. You’re Mine, and My Bride must walk blessed by Me.  Now take a deep breath and receive the life-giving, soul-satisfying life that is yours for the asking.
Love, Your Prince and Your Joy”

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  - John 10:10 

Satan has stolen sooo much from me, almost killed me, but will NEVER destroy my faith.  Through Christ I have LIFE!  I am soo blessed to be alive today and to be able to walk daily with my Savior and my God.  I have been given life, I will live it to its fullest! No more hiding behind fears, insecurities, and lies that Satan feeds me.  I will walk forward in faith clinging to my Savior and living an amazing, adventurous LIFE! I will embrace the wonderful memories and bumps along the way.  I will praise the Lord through it all with my life, my words, and my actions.  I want to be remembered for my faith, my joy, my love, my family. I want to be able to grow old and tell a story.  I want to be a shining light to the world to tell of my Jesus and how wonderful He is!

He has given me life, I will live it. :)